One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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