New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
