Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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