If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
