Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
