in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
They took my balls.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
