hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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