well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
