the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i now understand why vodka
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
