Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
