He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
