dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
