there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
