I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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