I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
