The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My dick has a subreddit
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
