We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
