Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
