took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just high enough for therapy.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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