i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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