i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
