FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
