he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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