Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
