she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
