Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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