I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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