I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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