And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
