so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
