If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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