The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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