are you so shy because you have an std?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
