I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
