I could have mohawked her pubes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
