Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
