Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Say something about gay babies.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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