new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
