yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
