i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
