the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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