i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
