yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
