I hate your face
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
