Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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