I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
