he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
