my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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