scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
