it wasn't lemon gatorade
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize