My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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