I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
